He's Here

Sorry to have dropped off the face of the earth...  Things have gone well, other than gestational diabetes, NST's and my physician falling through a scaffolding which left him out of commission for 12 weeks during my pregnancy.  I did end up coming off work early due to contractions.  My c-section was scheduled for 11/23, but as with Squeaker the best laid plans have a way of going off the rails.  My water broke (again a trickle not a gush) on 11/20.  It took me a while to figure it out.  Fortunately I told D before he left for work and then had to explain everything to Squeaker and Peanut.  We left for the hospital only to get tied up in rush hour traffic.  Which was not a big deal as I was having contractions, but nothing awful at the time.  Once we arrived we were checked in, met with the nurse practitioner who confirmed my water had indeed broke and then slowly started the process to get everything ready.  We went from triage to labor and delivery and by that time I was dilated to a 2 with contractions every 3 minutes.  Go time was supposed to be 8 pm.  Unfortunately being me that was held up by a weird antibody in my bloodstream that made cross matching me difficult.  So we waited and I contracted and things were getting a bit more uncomfortable.  At 9:45 pm we went to the OR and magically my spinal was placed with 1 poke.  At 10:15 pm Finn Thomas arrived, with beautiful apgars and a healthy set of lungs.  7 lbs 4 oz and 19.5 inches long.

He is beautiful and my heart aches for him.  We still don't have a great nickname for him, but we'll get there.

Life is complete.

Whoops - Sorry to leave you hanging...

So we had the ultrasound and it showed appropriate growth and a heartbeat.  So I can breathe a bit easier.  Unfortunately I had to meet with a doc that I had never met before and who really didn't know me as my doc was on vacation - THE NERVE.  He proceeds to say while recurrent miscarriage is common after seeing the heartbeat the risk goes down.  I tried to nod at what he was saying, but I really wanted to say get out.  He was patronizing and condescending and since he said maybe he'd see me at my delivery I wanted to say "I hope not."  But refrained.  

On checking out I found that when I needed to schedule my nuchal scan that I also needed to meet with a geneticist and a maternal fetal medicine specialist due to advanced maternal age.  ACK.  Apparently I'm old and my eggs have expired.  This should prove interesting.  I staved off my panic at least for the moment.  So April 16 I get to hear a lecture from a nurse... really, I'll try to keep the eye rolling to a minimum.  Then May 13 I meet with my doctor and May 18 I meet with the MFM and geneticist and have my scan.  Fun times... in the meantime I'm shooting up progesterone and trying to stay mellow.  

We haven't decided when to tell the in laws and my mom.  Maybe in November?  My mom is just such a volatile combination and my in laws are currently visiting.  I'd rather keep the drama to a minimum.  

Unexpected news...

*Tap* *Tap* *Tap*

Anyone here?  

I know... it's been a long time.  I even forgot how to login to my account.  

Anyways... long time no chat, or blog or whatever.  The kids are great.  I'm a hot mess, but the kids are great.  Squeaker is 7.5 and Peanut is 3.5 and both kids are doing well.  Nana is still around though she's getting goofier and when I say goofier I mean her short term memory is iffy at times.  She's also hostile at times which makes what I'm going to tell you even more of a issue. 

So life at the 3 dog house was going well... then end of February to the beginning of March D started having issues at work.  When I say issues I mean that he has a hostile coworker who has managed to get herself named in 3 lawsuits including hostile work environment.  She apparently targeted him as her direct supervisor and well it was game on.  D was upset, I was trying to be supportive and well... lets just say all of my coworkers agreed the only way to make a man forget his problems is to well put it bluntly... put out.  So... that's what occurred.  

Flash forward 2 weeks and well... you get my drift.  In spite of our attempts to prevent a pregnancy we never took more permanent measures.  I have found myself not negative again.  Cue the anxiety.  And by anxiety - I mean a full blown panic attack.  Fortunately I have friends... Who could talk me off that particular ledge.  

The panicked phone call to the RE's office found me learning that my medical records were in storage and that they felt that my OB would be able to handle things in regards to PIO, betas, and early u/s.  The phone call to the OB office meant that I had to retell my story to the nurse because of course my doctor was not on call that day, but the NP was and well let me just say getting progesterone and labs out of that person was a goat rodeo.  It took 5 phone calls.  I was in tears.  For some reason it was an issue and rather than calling and talking to me about it I was having everything relayed to me through a phone nurse.  Which led to me sending an email asking if there were going to be issues with my care, that if there were and they were uncomfortable that I could still seek the RE's office.  I pointed out that my records indicate what was used in my previous successful pregnancies and that if it was an issue I'd like to know now.  

So now here we are a little bit later... the betas were good.  I have a rough estimate when I ovulated, however of course the OB's office goes by lmp and that's a fiasco.  We had the early u/s yesterday which showed a gestational sac, yolk sac, but too early for a heartbeat.  If they had listened to me the u/s would have been pushed a few days, if not a week.  However now I have another u/s on the 9th.  So we shall see.  In the meantime if we're facebook friends - don't post anything on my wall.  This is top secret.  Well at least as top secret as you can be when you're taking phone calls at work and dodging your mother so she doesn't know why you're going to the doctor or to an "Appt".  So we shall see... 

Write Up...

That's the words that were muttered to my mother when she picked up Squeaker at the bus stop by the bus driver.  Apparently my little heathen had hit the bus driver in the back of the head while the bus was driving and the day before he had spit on a girl.  He had progressively gotten worse on the bus with worse behavior.  He's 5... who wants their 5 year old kicked off the bus, but at the rate he's going that's probably what will happen before the end of the year.

We've instituted the 123 M*gic into our daily lives... my mother of course doesn't believe in it as she calls it it's bull*hit, but at least I have D on board with it.  S*anking was not working... (Good golly I have a lot of asterisks in my blog post)  I never bought into it and have tried until now to get D on board with other discipline efforts.  It's not perfect, but it has helped.

Squeaker is at school all day - he goes to the special education classroom in the morning and then to the kindergarten classroom in the afternoon.  We learned at his parent -teacher conferences that he was doing excellent, using his words to problem solve, asking for help with conflicts, etc.  Then we had to break the news to them of the bus problems... so now we have a book we're going to read to him about bus behaviors, etc.

I'm at a loss for words as to what to do to help him on the right path.  He has moments of greatness and moments of awfulness.  He's a strong willed child.  He's a smart mouth.  He's incredibly loveable at times...  He makes me crazy... he makes my mom crazy... Nana threatens to quit probably once every other week if not more frequently.  It's a good thing I'm on prilosec because otherwise I'd have an ulcer.

Thoughts are appreciated... I don't know if this behavior is only happening in the afternoon when he's tired, or if it's happening in the morning as well... In other news the poor kid is allergic to just about everything... dust mites, grass, weeds, mold, dog (mildly) and cat (which he loves) actually both animals he loves... so we're starting allergy drops in the hopes it will improve his symptoms. One can pray it does.  He was a trooper through the whole allergy testing thing and the multiple shots in his arms.

Many things...

I don't think I ever told the story of how Squeaker weaned... but yes he finally did. I'm not ashamed of how long of a nursing relationship we had, but I will always remember our last nursing session. It was the night before Peanut was born.  On July 26, 2011 was his last nursing session.  I nursed Squeaker for an awful long time and finding a way to wean was a hard thing for me to do. I tried many things, but this was a boy who just couldn't figure things out... until his sister was born. After we came home from the hospital - I didn't offer, but if he tried I was planning on not refusing. Fortunately he didn't ask and I didn't offer. So it was a lot less traumatic than I anticipated it would be. I have no idea if I'll nurse Peanut as long as I did Squeaker, but it will be whatever her and I decide it will be. I have no shame for how long we nursed, though I don't advertise it to be honest. If asked then I answer the question. Most of my coworkers know that I nursed him for so long, but only a few have asked about it. The one thing I regret is that I don't have a picture nursing him... even when he was younger. Peanut has a nursing picture.

A Day Late

Eight years ago yesterday I married my best friend.  We've had ups and downs.  We've battled through recurrent pregnancy loss and are now the proud parents of two beautiful children.  We are very lucky that through the stress of all those things we remained steadfast in our marriage and our love.  D is an amazing father and husband.  So... Happy Anniversary D!  Here's to many more years to come.

Happy birthday Squeaker!

In a few short hours my baby... my Not Negative, my Squeaker, will be 5 years old.  It's hard to believe that he has been on this earth for 5 years.  Crazy I tell you.  He's such a sweet, spirited, pain in the ass child.  I love him for it and in spite of it.  While his speech previously was delayed we now frequently hear "Is this appropriate for me to watch?"  He runs, he loves hard and furiously.  He's a pistol to put it mildly.  But he's my pistol.  His teacher understands him and knows he needs a firm but loving hand.  Which hopefully means he won't be spending time in the naughty room also known as the PSR (problem solving room) during the school year.  He's got definite opinions on everything.  It's quite comical.  He gave me a talking to when I attempted to put a toy in the goodwill pile that he had just gotten at a garage sale with Nana.  "Do you know how much that cost?  It cost Nana 25 dollars, it's brand new.  You can't give that to goodwill!  She'll be very upset!" (this went on for about 5 minutes)

He wants to be a canine cop.  How funny is that considering he's growing up in a houseful of dogs and his father is a police officer.  

Happy birthday my sweet boy... you made me a mommy and I am ever so thankful for you each and every day of my life.  

A year and change...

It's hard to believe a year has come and gone... Peanut is now almost 13 months old.  She finally has teeth - so far 3 have come in the space of a week.  I indeed have a late teether, but she is efficient about it.  I'm sure a 4th one will be popping up on the bottom soon enough.  My mother was surprised that the first teeth to arrive were her 2 top ones.  Peanut being Peanut of course has to be different from all the other children.  

She is walking a few steps.  She is a petite 17 lbs 12 ounces and 28.75 inches long.  So short and skinny.  One of my coworkers has a 7 month old that weighs 18 lbs... so in comparison Peanut looks tiny.  

Breastfeeding is ongoing... she's a different type of nurser than Squeaker was, so I have no idea how long we will nurse.  I'm of the child led weaning strategy... with Squeaker that meant he nursed until the night before Peanut was born and then said that nursing was for Peanut.  He then became obsessed with my nursing her frequently.  As if he was the camp director telling you what activities you should do.  So in other words Squeaker nursed until he was almost 4 years old.  

Peanut is a much better solid food eater than Squeaker ever was - I do not have visions of feeding therapy with her.  She loves turkey, veggie straws, peas, and just about any protein that you could find she would love it.  

As for me... I am enjoying day shift.  Shockingly... it's different, but it was definitely a good time to go.  I gained weight going to days, but I hope that it'll come off sooner rather than later.  I also love being a mom to these two beautiful and crazy kids.